As I am thinking about what I want to write, I don't think this post has much to do with our road to being debt free. So, if you are here for your lesson on how we are becoming debt free, you can move along. If you are just looking for a feel good kind thing to read, read on!
There's a saying that says, "apples don't fall far from trees". I often joke that my children are a lot like me and that the apple didn't fall far. My mom has often said, if I start acting like my mom you have permission to tell me so. I think most women fear a little that they will act like their mom. I know there are many things that I do that were picked up from my mom, and even my grandma. Before we got married my husband was even worried that I would turn out like my grandma, a little bossy. But as I think about Christmas and my grandma and my mom, I have never been more thankful to be the apple that didn't fall far from the tree.
When I was a little girl every Christmas Eve we would gather at my grandma's house. My mom, her siblings and their children. We would begin with a huge Thanksgiving-like meal. Following the meal would begin the gift giving. This was a sight to be seen. First my mom and her siblings and their spouses would exchange the gifts that they had purchased for the person whose name they drew at our Thanksgiving meal. Next my grandma would send the men down stairs to retrieve the presents. They would bring up trash bags full of wrapped gifts. On each gift was a number, not a name. My grandma had a list of each gift numbered, who it belonged to and what was in the package.
Often the children would help pass out the gifts. You would just hear numbers being shouted out and see grandma looking at her list telling who the gift belonged to. This is where the magic would happen, and if you weren't paying attention you might have missed it. Lucky for me I saw it! As grandma would look at her list she would grin as she would say who the gift was for. She delighted in picking out each item for each person and it showed on her face. Grandma would also be the first to remind the person with the fewest gifts "some people's money went further then others". Just thinking about it makes me laugh. You see, she spent the same amount on each grand child. If you preferred named brand items or things that cost a lot, you would only get a few packages. If you you weren't so picky, you received a lot of packages (much to my brothers disgust, I often had a lot of gifts. This is still the running joke as we open presents at my mothers house on Christmas day).
Once the gifts were all open, some family members would head out to midnight mass. A few times we (my mom and brother and I) stayed at grandma and grandpa's house. I always thought these Christmas's were extra special. I got to spend Christmas morning with my mom and my grandparents, and Santa found us at grandma's. Little did I know these were the Christmas's that were most painful for my mom and thats why we spent the night at grandma's. Over the years I have come to understand just how painful Christmas can be for my mom. Each year, my brother and I spent Christmas day with our dad. So, there was my mom, all alone on Christmas day. As a mother now, I can't imagine how difficult that was.
Although my grandparents are still with us (thank the Lord!) Christmas Eve looks a little different these days. They no longer have the ability to do all that shopping and purchasing. But the magic lives on. Each Christmas morning my brother and his family and my family join my mom and step dad for breakfast, followed by a round of gifts.
I think the tradition of a list with gifts written on it, has been a little odd to my husband, but it makes me smile every time I see it. Each year my mom purchases gifts for all of us, her children, our spouses and our children. You should see the obscene display. But as the gifts get passed out and as the gifts are open, you can see my mom light up. Although I appreciate the gits, I love to see my mom happy even more. She really seems to delight in seeing the reaction of all of us as we open the gifts that she picked out. I love it!
This morning as I was contemplating one more gift to give my husband, I realized the apple sure didn't fall far from the tree. I want to buy the gift and give it to him, because I know it will make him happy. I too value the ability to give. I realize that as you read this you may think I am writing about receiving gifts, and in a way I am. Not the gifts that are wrapped up in a package but the gift of a giving spirit. My mom, my grandma, they taught me that.
My mom, has given me many gifts in my life. But truly the best gifts are the ones that no one else may ever see. She taught me to be a good mom, to be a giver, and to be Christian. She taught me to be strong and not to give up. She taught me how to love and live. For all of these things I am truly grateful.
So go ahead, tell me that I am acting like my mom. I will take that as a compliment!
Merry Christmas!
Monday, December 10, 2012
Monday, December 3, 2012
The Balancing Act
Wow, it's been a month since my last post. I guess no news is good news.
Last week a mother from our child care passed away. There are only about 6 or 7 families at this child care, so we all know each other. This family though had only started back in September. We had a Thanksgiving lunch the Saturday before Thanksgiving. This was my first and only introduction to the mom. Our child care provider emailed all of the families to let us know of the tragedy. The mom hadn't been sick. I found out today it was a brain aneurysm.
Every time I think of this family and what they are going through my heart aches and I get sick to my stomach. Like most normal people, I begin to think "what if". What if that happened to us? What if I died and Hubby had to care for our two children? What if Hubby died and I had to pick up the pieces and keep going? How do people do that?
As I have been thinking of the different things my family can do to help this family, I realized there are some big things that are left undone at my house, and if any of the what ifs came true our children would be screwed. Two big things are on our "to do" list, 1) fill out our life insurance papers to secure additional term coverage (the papers are ther, we need to just do it- thank Nike) 2) we need a will. We have done our children diservice by not doing these two things.
During FPU we had learned about the importance of life insurance and the amount you needed while still in debt and not havine a fully funded emergency fund. WE NEED A LOT! In my investigating we made the decision to only get part of the total amount we need. It's what we can fit into our budget reasonably right now, and combined with a work policy it is sufficient. I had heard the family that lost the mom didn't have life insurance. Now I feel the urgency to fill out the paper work.
Although life insurance has been weighing heavily on my mind it is actually low on the list as far as my financial and personal goals. This woman was 11 months younger then me, and her life was ended so suddenly. There are so many things I want to do. Thank the Lord I have been able to do the two most meaningful things I have wanted to do, be a mother and wife. But I also want to travel! I am 38 years old and I've never been out of the country (well I've been to Mexico, does that count?).
I have had SERIOUS thoughts about saying screw the plan, lets buy some plane tickets! I need not ony a vacation but an opportunity to spend some time with my husband, who is working his butt off for our family. I miss him! We still haven't had a honeymoon or any type of trip since getting married four years ago. Even as I write this I want to hop on travelocity and check on trips to Ireland or even Florida or Hawaii, anywhere. But I can't. I won't. Because.....gezelle intensity. Stupid gezelle! I'm going to walmart to get a gun!
I know I am supposed to be working on paying down debt with gezelle intensity, but I need some fun and some balance in my life. How do you work that in without feeling like your are screwing your future for some peace today? And is that peace worth it, because what if you die tomorrow? I don't want to die with regret. But on the flipside, I don't want the regret to be that we didn't stick to our plan and pay down debt so now we have dug ourself a bigger hole.
As it is my budget is all a bit hazy this month. I know we are making huge strides because I am almost done Christmas shopping and nothing has been put on a credit card.
So friends, how do you balance being faithful to your plan while ensuring you don't go crazy in the mean time? Do you just stick to the plan for 2-3-4 years and then when you are done, save for that trip or whatever it is that keeps you sane? Or do you say, I need this and add in a hundred or two to your budget to start working toward your desire? I know Dave would tell me to save for it and stop whining. I know we could be doing more to pay down our debt. I guess I just need to start getting creative and sell off as much as I can so we can get a little joy.
Last week a mother from our child care passed away. There are only about 6 or 7 families at this child care, so we all know each other. This family though had only started back in September. We had a Thanksgiving lunch the Saturday before Thanksgiving. This was my first and only introduction to the mom. Our child care provider emailed all of the families to let us know of the tragedy. The mom hadn't been sick. I found out today it was a brain aneurysm.
Every time I think of this family and what they are going through my heart aches and I get sick to my stomach. Like most normal people, I begin to think "what if". What if that happened to us? What if I died and Hubby had to care for our two children? What if Hubby died and I had to pick up the pieces and keep going? How do people do that?
As I have been thinking of the different things my family can do to help this family, I realized there are some big things that are left undone at my house, and if any of the what ifs came true our children would be screwed. Two big things are on our "to do" list, 1) fill out our life insurance papers to secure additional term coverage (the papers are ther, we need to just do it- thank Nike) 2) we need a will. We have done our children diservice by not doing these two things.
During FPU we had learned about the importance of life insurance and the amount you needed while still in debt and not havine a fully funded emergency fund. WE NEED A LOT! In my investigating we made the decision to only get part of the total amount we need. It's what we can fit into our budget reasonably right now, and combined with a work policy it is sufficient. I had heard the family that lost the mom didn't have life insurance. Now I feel the urgency to fill out the paper work.
Although life insurance has been weighing heavily on my mind it is actually low on the list as far as my financial and personal goals. This woman was 11 months younger then me, and her life was ended so suddenly. There are so many things I want to do. Thank the Lord I have been able to do the two most meaningful things I have wanted to do, be a mother and wife. But I also want to travel! I am 38 years old and I've never been out of the country (well I've been to Mexico, does that count?).
I have had SERIOUS thoughts about saying screw the plan, lets buy some plane tickets! I need not ony a vacation but an opportunity to spend some time with my husband, who is working his butt off for our family. I miss him! We still haven't had a honeymoon or any type of trip since getting married four years ago. Even as I write this I want to hop on travelocity and check on trips to Ireland or even Florida or Hawaii, anywhere. But I can't. I won't. Because.....gezelle intensity. Stupid gezelle! I'm going to walmart to get a gun!
I know I am supposed to be working on paying down debt with gezelle intensity, but I need some fun and some balance in my life. How do you work that in without feeling like your are screwing your future for some peace today? And is that peace worth it, because what if you die tomorrow? I don't want to die with regret. But on the flipside, I don't want the regret to be that we didn't stick to our plan and pay down debt so now we have dug ourself a bigger hole.
As it is my budget is all a bit hazy this month. I know we are making huge strides because I am almost done Christmas shopping and nothing has been put on a credit card.
So friends, how do you balance being faithful to your plan while ensuring you don't go crazy in the mean time? Do you just stick to the plan for 2-3-4 years and then when you are done, save for that trip or whatever it is that keeps you sane? Or do you say, I need this and add in a hundred or two to your budget to start working toward your desire? I know Dave would tell me to save for it and stop whining. I know we could be doing more to pay down our debt. I guess I just need to start getting creative and sell off as much as I can so we can get a little joy.
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