As I am thinking about what I want to write, I don't think this post has much to do with our road to being debt free. So, if you are here for your lesson on how we are becoming debt free, you can move along. If you are just looking for a feel good kind thing to read, read on!
There's a saying that says, "apples don't fall far from trees". I often joke that my children are a lot like me and that the apple didn't fall far. My mom has often said, if I start acting like my mom you have permission to tell me so. I think most women fear a little that they will act like their mom. I know there are many things that I do that were picked up from my mom, and even my grandma. Before we got married my husband was even worried that I would turn out like my grandma, a little bossy. But as I think about Christmas and my grandma and my mom, I have never been more thankful to be the apple that didn't fall far from the tree.
When I was a little girl every Christmas Eve we would gather at my grandma's house. My mom, her siblings and their children. We would begin with a huge Thanksgiving-like meal. Following the meal would begin the gift giving. This was a sight to be seen. First my mom and her siblings and their spouses would exchange the gifts that they had purchased for the person whose name they drew at our Thanksgiving meal. Next my grandma would send the men down stairs to retrieve the presents. They would bring up trash bags full of wrapped gifts. On each gift was a number, not a name. My grandma had a list of each gift numbered, who it belonged to and what was in the package.
Often the children would help pass out the gifts. You would just hear numbers being shouted out and see grandma looking at her list telling who the gift belonged to. This is where the magic would happen, and if you weren't paying attention you might have missed it. Lucky for me I saw it! As grandma would look at her list she would grin as she would say who the gift was for. She delighted in picking out each item for each person and it showed on her face. Grandma would also be the first to remind the person with the fewest gifts "some people's money went further then others". Just thinking about it makes me laugh. You see, she spent the same amount on each grand child. If you preferred named brand items or things that cost a lot, you would only get a few packages. If you you weren't so picky, you received a lot of packages (much to my brothers disgust, I often had a lot of gifts. This is still the running joke as we open presents at my mothers house on Christmas day).
Once the gifts were all open, some family members would head out to midnight mass. A few times we (my mom and brother and I) stayed at grandma and grandpa's house. I always thought these Christmas's were extra special. I got to spend Christmas morning with my mom and my grandparents, and Santa found us at grandma's. Little did I know these were the Christmas's that were most painful for my mom and thats why we spent the night at grandma's. Over the years I have come to understand just how painful Christmas can be for my mom. Each year, my brother and I spent Christmas day with our dad. So, there was my mom, all alone on Christmas day. As a mother now, I can't imagine how difficult that was.
Although my grandparents are still with us (thank the Lord!) Christmas Eve looks a little different these days. They no longer have the ability to do all that shopping and purchasing. But the magic lives on. Each Christmas morning my brother and his family and my family join my mom and step dad for breakfast, followed by a round of gifts.
I think the tradition of a list with gifts written on it, has been a little odd to my husband, but it makes me smile every time I see it. Each year my mom purchases gifts for all of us, her children, our spouses and our children. You should see the obscene display. But as the gifts get passed out and as the gifts are open, you can see my mom light up. Although I appreciate the gits, I love to see my mom happy even more. She really seems to delight in seeing the reaction of all of us as we open the gifts that she picked out. I love it!
This morning as I was contemplating one more gift to give my husband, I realized the apple sure didn't fall far from the tree. I want to buy the gift and give it to him, because I know it will make him happy. I too value the ability to give. I realize that as you read this you may think I am writing about receiving gifts, and in a way I am. Not the gifts that are wrapped up in a package but the gift of a giving spirit. My mom, my grandma, they taught me that.
My mom, has given me many gifts in my life. But truly the best gifts are the ones that no one else may ever see. She taught me to be a good mom, to be a giver, and to be Christian. She taught me to be strong and not to give up. She taught me how to love and live. For all of these things I am truly grateful.
So go ahead, tell me that I am acting like my mom. I will take that as a compliment!
Merry Christmas!
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