Time

We've all been there. Thinking back to childhood, the year seemed to creep by. It seemed FOREVER between the beginning of the school year and summer vacation or from one birthday until the next. Why does it seem the older we get the faster time goes? I can't remember a time where I thought time seemed to be creeping by, well except the work day. It is like you blink and the next thing is here. There's always something coming up. I don't know about you but it seems I think that something is far away then all of a sudden it is here. Like Easeter this year. I kept thinking, I should bring up the Easter decorations. I wasn't ready to put away the St. Patrick's Day towels so I put if off. Now Easter is 3 days away and still no Easter decorations.

This year Easter also brings with it our baby girl's brithday. What's that you say? She's not a baby? Holy crap, where has the time gone. You are right our girl will be turning 4. FOUR! I cannot believe four years have passed. Four years since I felt her move within me. Four years since she made her way into this world in her own unique style. Four years since our life was changed forever more.

The other side of the coin of time is that you always think you have more of it. But we don't do we? Really truly the only thing we are promised is this minute, this moment. I have a hard time with that one. I am a sucker for the past or the future, not so good in living in the moment. I know I don't take enough time to truly appreciate the moments with family and friends that I should.  I worry more about what hasn't happened or what happened in the past.

I can't imagine the amount of time I wasted when I was younger worrying about if I'd get married or have babies, and why didn't I have those things now. CRAZY! What a waste! I didn't enjoy the place and time I was in. Although I can look back and see the beauty of each phase of my life. I wish I could go back and give myself a clue. Since I can't go back, I will try giving myself that clue now.

I will try to live in the moment. To enjoy my life where it is, because that is where it is meant to be. To find the breath taking moments each day with my children and family. To not worry what the future will bring (well except maybe financially, still gotta pay down that debt and save so we can have a great future) but take care of today so when the future arrives it can be full of wonderful moments.

I have struggled in my life to understand God's timing. Although, God's timing has never failed, I find that I question it a lot. Most recently I questioned his timing with Dad's death. I wanted more time. More time for us to be a family. More time to understand my dad and for him to get to know me. Time for him to be amazed by my children and to maybe show them the love that I always seemed to be searching for.

I thank God for his timing. His gift of L was definitely in his time and not mine. But what a glorius gift she has turned out to be. Although I honestly have no idea how 4 years have gone by, I can look at pictures of L and remember every moment of this little girls life. I remember how she changed me. I can't tell you how she changed me I just know she did. She truly is amazing.

I remember when I was pregnant the warnings I would receive about enjoying every minute because before I knew it the baby would be a teenager. I laughed. I thought I knew what they meant. I could never really comprehend how fast time would go by until my baby was born. I swear she was just placed in my arms for the first time. Now she's a twirling, singing, dancing, questioning, beautiful, amazing 4 year old.

Here's your clue: Time truly is a gift so enjoy the present, you don't get it back. Don't say I never gave you a clue.